I was a bad mom today. Today was just one of those days where you stop, sigh, and think man I feel defeated. Maybe it was the rain that caused us to cancel plans or maybe it was that I didn’t sleep well, or maybe I just woke up cranky. Whatever it was, I didn’t feel like doing ANYTHING. It all felt so burdensome. I just wanted a day off from my life – no responsibilities, I didn’t even want to take a shower. If I still worked outside the home there’s a good chance I would have called in sick today. And Adalynn wasn’t in a good mood either. She is weaning, teething, and I think she may be getting sick. Based on that list I think she was much more qualified to have a bad day than I was.
But did I accept that from her though? Nope! I just kept getting so annoyed! Why couldn’t she just sit there quietly (and in one place) and play while I caught up on emails, sorted dirty clothes, and made a grocery list. And she only took two short naps today as well.
Didn’t she understand I was busy?
Of course not!!!!!
She is (almost) 13 months old.
My husband typically calls me for a few minutes in between appointments to let me know which city he’s in and how his schedule is unfolding for the day. On his third call I answered in a less than pleasant tone, as I had each time he’d called, and he said, sincerely, “I’m sorry you’re having a rough day.”
It stopped me in my tracks. I wasn’t even having a bad day. I couldn’t even think of anything to complain about. Except maybe Adalynn’s bad mood, but what kind of mother was I?? I couldn’t complain about her bad mood when here I was her mother and in a bad mood myself.
When I got off the phone I looked at that sweet girl of mine – man, she’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I started dancing around the kitchen while making dinner and she laughed and laughed and laughed. And my eyes filled up and my heart swelled. I thought back on the day and realized that I had forgotten some really amazing things that had happened today. Hubby and I are pretty sure Adalynn said her first word today – she points at our dogs or at pictures of dogs in her story books and says, “Dawwww.” It’s awesome! She also learned to put her hands on either side of her head when I ask her where her head is. Cutest thing ever! Her and I were awake and home this morning when Daddy left for work so we went on the porch and blew him lots of kisses. I could watch her blow kisses all day (although I need to teach her to stop doing it to strangers). She has mastered “more” in sign language and walked up to a package of food she wanted in the pantry and continually signed “more” because I think she was expecting the package to open for her. Hilarious. She laughed hysterically when it was time to feed the dogs their dinner because we chased them all around the house before stopping at their food bowls. I love her love for our dogs.
You see, when I took just a second to actually think back on the day it was actually a pretty magnificent day. And maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t as bad a mom today as I thought I was.