Why My Husband & I Go To Bed Angry

 

When I first became a wife I decided that I wanted to be perfect. You probably just giggled at that line, but I’m serious. I take tasks and roles of mine very seriously and always strive to do the best. I put my whole heart into things I care about. So as a wife, a person who cared immensely about someone, it would be easy to be perfect. Right?

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I would do everything I could to prevent becoming upset about something therefore not causing any type of disagreement to arise. I would cook. I would clean. Those are both easy enough! I’m easy to please so my husband wouldn’t have too hard of a time keeping me happy. But those are the big things! I would be even better at the even smaller things, the unspoken marriage rules, if you will. Well I’d make sure I did all those too and everything would go, you guessed it, perfectly. Share tasks, don’t go to bed angry, never use the word ‘divorce,’ choose your battles, you know the list… I had this list in my head and would mentally check them off when it was appropriate/necessary. That was until about a month (if that!) into marriage when I learned that, regardless of what I did, or even what we both did, no matter how hard we tried, our marriage wasn’t going to be perfect. And one of those first unspoken rules we broke? Don’t go to bed angry!

Ironically enough most of John and I’s arguments would break out right before bed (I’m pretty positive being tired and irritated from a long day of work helped that happen). We would argue about THE MOST insignificant stuff! Being the perfect wifey, I would always want to make sure we talked these things through before going to bed “angry.” Well we would talk them through alright, and through and through and through. Hours later we would still have nothing solved and just be more tired and irritated than before. I don’t remember who it was the very first time, but I remember us giving up and being like I love you, but we have to go to bed. I remember so clearly tearing up and thinking how big of failures we were. Here we were so early on in our marriage and we were breaking one of the number one rules! I remember something else too though! I remember waking up in the morning and how calmly we talked about the night before. I also think I remember giggling about how ridiculous whatever we were arguing about had been.

So take it from a overly flawed housewife, who has not once gotten that perfect thing down, sometimes you have to break the rules and go to bed angry. Sometimes you need rest to refuel and reassess what the topic at hand even is. Sometimes you have to break other marriage rules too. And sometimes you have to make some too. Whatever it may be, if you’re honoring your vows and one another, by all means do it.

Must Have Mondays

Must Have Mondays – Issue 4

If you haven’t checked out Must Have Mondays before, here’s what it’s all about…. an awesome blogger/blog, an easy and tasty recipe, and a helpful product – all “must haves” for fellow mamas, women, bloggers, and people in general! Every other Monday I’ll have three all new must haves.

Enjoy this week’s!


This week’s recipe is Slow Cooked Zesty Zucchini Chicken from Fit Mom Angela D

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Photo courtesy of Fit Mom Angela D

Let’s be honest, like many of the recipes I have posted for this series so far, it had me at “slow cooked.” I mean does get any better than a recipe that’s healthy, tasty, AND easy?! We also always seem to have both chicken and zucchini on hand. (We eat more chicken than any other protein and zucchini is normally cheap and goes with tons of things). This recipe was filling and had the perfect amount of kick for someone who likes a bit of a spice, but can’t handle too much. The peppers also cooked down just right and were delicious. We served it with whole grain pasta and it was a perfect meal! I’d be lying if I said I’ve only made this once since finding the recipe a few weeks ago.


This week’s blogger is Angela of MOMtessori Life

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I remember being immediately intrigued when I came across Angela’s Instagram page months ago. She had these sweet posts and AWESOME activities that she did/does with her little girls. More intriguing than how awesome the activities were the fact that they are Montessori activities something I am always interested in learning more about! Her blog was even more of a wealth of information, as you can imagine. She gives easy to follow instructions, is super honest about how the activities turned out, and always gives tips of what she would do differently the next time around. Angela is also such a sweetheart, always answering questions about specific activities, and helping any way she can. I would suggest reading her blog to anyone, but especially those looking for excellent learning opportunities for little ones.


This week’s product is the GOOtensil

I caught a glance of this product and immediately reached out to them! As a first time parent I was trying all different things and brainstorming over how to teach my little one how to use utensils. This product is designed to catch food in the “goo”tensil so that children aren’t trying to learn both WHAT the utensil is actually for and HOW to use it. The child simply sticks the GOOtensil in the puree and sticks it in their mouth – no confusing scoops or stabbing. Now this is not to say that she is going to use this forever and never have to worry about how to use utensils, not at all, it is just a simplified introduction. It is for making the transition from no utensils to utensils, easier. Now I just wish I’d discovered this product sooner!

I received the mentioned items in this post in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are 100% my own.

Happy 1st Birthday!

Happy 1st birthday to my sweet daughter!

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This year has been an absolute whirlwind and an absolute blast.

You have shown us what true happiness is and you bring joy into our lives every day.

You have 6 teeth, are walking laps around the house, and love animals.

You hug your doll everyday, scream with excitement all the time, and eat…a lot.

You are still nursing, love books, and always carry two or more toys at once.

You are full of personality, strong-willed, yet obedient, and smile 96.5% of the time.

You love all three of our pets, but Belle is your favorite and you tackle her daily, with a strong pat and a shrill of pure joy.

You love to love and cuddle, hug, and kiss, any chance you get (although right now, you only kiss the mirror, pages in your favorite books, and a few select stuffed animals)

You’re not a fan of the grass, can’t decide if you like eggs, and you still aren’t a fan of sleeping through the night (though you have done it a handful of times)

You make Mommy & Daddy smile, laugh, and constantly say to one another, “I love her so much”

Thank you for being the most perfect thing I’ve ever tangibly known.

Thank you for making me a mother.

Happy 1st birthday baby girl, I love you so, so much!

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One of my favorites!

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Her favorite doll

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And the pictures went downhill from here; bugs, heat, Mommy was done too!

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It’s her party and she’ll cry if she wants to! 😉


Here are the direct links for Adalynn’s sweet, little outfit…

Headband: Target

Onesie: Courtesy of Lily Pads and Lace

Skirt: Old Navy

Adalynn’s Birth Story

I was very active during my pregnancy so when I started getting a shooting back pain around 8:30 pm on August 21, 2015 (the day before my due date) I just thought I’d overdone it. I actually didn’t even tell my husband at first because he’d been telling me to slow down since I was approaching full term and quite frankly I didn’t want the lecture. I’d walk laps around our neighborhood. I’d spent an hour walking around Dollar Tree just perusing and then two hours buying every single item possible at Walmart. I wanted to make sure we weren’t out of anything, even down to dried basil and an extra bag of dogfood. I’m pretty sure looking back that I was in total nesting mode. That night at home I got to work making sure every single thing was checked off my to-do list. The back pain that had come at 8:30 came again around 9:30. I got excited when I noticed that it fell at an hour and thought, “what if this is labor??” I quickly reminded myself to not get excited and that this was my first baby and there was a good chance she’d be overdue. I just couldn’t shake the thought of it being labor though. (Although, when you’re nearing the end of your pregnancy you think any and everything might be labor starting…wishful thinking maybe?) Around 10:30 I got another shooting back pain. Hmmm Labor? Nah! I decided it was getting late, the to-do list would have to wait, and that laying down would probably feel pretty glorious at this point. WRONG! The second I laid down the back pain got even worse. I sat up and tried to lay on my side. Nope! Up I got and did some yoga. That made it feel a little better, but laying down was still so painful. At this point I was a bit irritated with myself for hurting my back. “Why did I have to overdo it today?” My husband had fallen asleep and there wasn’t much he could do for my back pain so I decided to get in our tub. It is a jetted tub and I just knew that would make my back feel better.

The jetted tub helped a little but the longer I was in the tub, the more my back hurt. I was also feeling tightening in my lower abdomen and at this point thought, “okay, this seriously might be labor.” I still didn’t think it could possibly be true. I was moving around in the tub trying to get comfortable when my hubby came in to check on me. He had gotten an app to keep track of contractions and suggested tracking my pains – totally inconsistent. We called my midwife for help, but she said it was up to us whether we wanted to come in or not. It seemed too soon to go in, I was handling everything well, so I decided we should stay home. We also called our doula, but with the inconsistency and my current feelings she decided to wait to come over.

The waves of labor continued but I still couldn’t 100% convince myself that I was in labor. I wasn’t past my due date. This was my first. There was no way she was coming into this world yet. I continued laboring at home, now out of the tub, using my husband for both physical and emotional support, and trying to breath through the waves. After laboring in my bathroom for about four and a half hours we decided that we should probably make our way to hospital (Side note, I thought it had been an hour or so. Labor makes you lose all concept of time. Well it makes you lose all concept of anything really). The drive is about 25 minutes and I realized once I was sitting in the car that I thought I may have her on the way there.

The waves were coming closer and closer and since my husband was driving there was no way to track it. I changed my breathing, as I’d learned in class, and we arrived at the hospital, entering through the emergency room entrance as the main doors of the hospital were locked since it was so early in the morning. My doula was there waiting for us. (She had been on her way to our house, but before she arrived, John called to tell her to just meet us at the hospital). I had to sign some paperwork (noooo clue what it was about) while John parked the car and then I was whisked in a wheelchair up to the birthing center.

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They had a jetted tub waiting but since I’d already been in the tub at home I wanted to try something else. I ended up kneeling over a birthing ball in the shower. It was a great position and the warm water beating down on my back felt great. I was in the shower for about an hour and a half and then my midwife asked if I’d like to try the tub as the change may make me progress even more. It worked! Within 15 minutes of being in the tub my midwife said, “time to push!” It was literally one of the most surreal moments of my life. I remember thinking, “this is the moment we’ve been waiting for all this time.” I was about to meet this perfect little stranger and all I could do was smile from ear to ear.

I got in a comfortable position, with John behind me as support, and within about thirty minutes I laid eyes on the most beautiful baby girl I’d ever seen. The midwife said, “do you want to deliver her?” This wasn’t something we’d chatted about prior to that very moment but “absolutely” was the only thought that crossed my mind. I grabbed her on either side and lifted her to my chest. She was crying and although I thought I would be too, happy tears streaming, I wasn’t. I couldn’t stop staring at her in amazement. You love this little person that you’ve never met, you carry them for 40 weeks of your life, feeling their movements, watching and hearing their heartbeat at your appointments and here they are! You finally know what their cry sounds like, what color their hair is, the details of their perfect face and tiny body. I was totally awestruck and so in love. And as much as your heart grows in that very moment it somehow grows bigger every single day. I will never be able to thank God enough for choosing me to be a mom, to be her mom, watching her learn and discover, watching her grow taller, stronger, smarter, everyday. It is absolutely the most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my life.

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Completely awestruck

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Daddy’s first time holding her.

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A family of three

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Our perfect girl

Our GIRL

I think my husband and I both knew all along that I was carrying a little girl. For me it may have been because I think I wanted a girl just a little bit more. I was dreaming of nail painting, girlie chats, and pink bows.

The day of our 20 week appointment came and first and foremost I wanted to know that everything for the anatomical portion checked out alright. Secondly I was so excited to know the gender. I had previously been skeptical about even finding out but the hubby had done a lot of good convincing! When the time came for the ultrasound tech to tell us, I closed my eyes and asked her to type it on the screen so that John could tell me. It was such a special moment for us. I will never forget the look on his face when he told me it was a girl. I screamed from the excitement and the tears began to flow. It is something I will never forget.

And if you know me at all you know our next step was a photo shoot to announce! (You can never over-document life, amiright?)

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Our Special Valentine…

As the countdown gets smaller to our sweet babe’s 1st birthday my heart seems to be growing even more each day than it already was. I truly feel like the memories of my entire pregnancy and the days of our brand new babe are just swirling around in my head nonstop. They are bringing tears to my eyes and joy to my heart in a way I will never be able to describe. I have looked at more pictures recently than I can count and I’m almost positive I’ve given more kisses in the last few days than I have the past twelve months. I’ve decided since so many wonderful, beautiful memories have been flowing through my head I would put them into words so I won’t ever forget a thing.

Expect a post every day for the next few days! Beaming, sobbing, head over heels mama over here!!!

For now I am going to share the pregnancy announcement photos we shared with “the world.” (We announced to our immediate families over the Christmas holidays)

We were comfortable sharing the news when I was around 12 weeks pregnant which fell just in time for Valentine’s Day…themed photo shoot for the win! Hehe

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{Photo credit for all of the above photos goes to the lovely Cynthia Tenney}


When Adalynn was almost 6 months old we went back to this park and recreated some of the images, but with her in them! Click here to check them out!


XOXO

Must Have Mondays

Must Have Mondays – Issue 3

If this is your first time checking out Must Have Monday’s here’s how it works!

Every other Monday I feature an recipe, blogger, and product. Since I am a wife, mother, and blogger these will be quick and easy recipes,relateable bloggers, and helpful & trendy products – all “must have’s” in my life!

Enjoy this week’s must have’s –


This week’s recipe is Slow Cooker Honey Pork Chops from Stockpiling Moms

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Photo courtesy of “Stockpiling Moms”

I initially clicked on this recipe because yum. I was sold just from reading the title – it sounded so tasty…and it was! It sounded easy (“slow cooker” always sells me)…and it was! The honey, apples, and cinnamon taste sooooo yummy soaked in the pork. It was a very easy dinner, can be paired with tons of things, and tasted just as good, if not better, the next day. I also went back and got seconds the night I made this, shhhhhhh.


This week’s blogger is Kristen of Balancing Pieces

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Photo courtesy of Kristen

It has been so awesome following Kristen’s blog since launching my own back in February. It has grown so much so quickly and shows just how good she is at this whole blogging thing! She blogs about beauty products (something I definitely need help with), motherhood (something I always love to read about/compare crazy lives of other mothers), and DIY (something I’m horrible at, but she does some simple ones that even my incapable self can do). She is also very open to helping and connecting with other bloggers something I will always have the utmost respect for.


This week’s product is the  O Key Ring

The second I saw this product I knew I HAD to have it! As a stay-at-home mom my hands are constantly full. One of the times my hands are the most full is leaving the store. I am trying to carry shopping bags, a diaper bag, a small person! And then fumbling in my bag to try to find my keys, get them in my hand to open the car, and do it without dropping anything is quite the task. In all honestly having your hands so full while carrying your youngster just doesn’t feel safe. Enter o-key ring! Aside from the safety factor this product is gorgeous. It is made of leather and comes in multiple colors. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly obsessed with this product. (They also sell card cases and money clips!)

I received the mentioned items in this post in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are 100% my own.

 

Thank you my sweet daughter

To my sweet baby girl as our breastfeeding journey ends,
You have been nursing less and less lately and as we approach your first birthday I’m not sure just how much longer we’ll be on this journey. It has been a grueling one, scattered with physical, mental, and emotional difficulties, but I’m thankful we were in it together. You see, so many people focus on how strong the mother is when breastfeeding doesn’t come easy, but honestly, I owe it all to you! As natural and beautiful as breastfeeding is, it definitely didn’t come naturally to us and honestly, it wasn’t always beautiful. But through it all you tried and tried and tried again and again and again laying every bit of trust in me. Even when I had no idea what I was doing (heck, I still don’t) you stayed patient. I love you so very much for that….and for so many other things, but truly your unwavering trust bonded us so deeply.
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Those first days, weeks, and even months I had so much to learn. I fumbled. I cried. I often lost my patience. But you held it out for me and even when you fumbled, cried, and lost your patience we still leaned on one another to get us through.
We were both brand new at this and if I’m being honest, neither of us were very good. Thank you for always trying your hardest with me. I know you had your own struggles, and even physical barriers working against you. But we fought through!
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Parents are proud of their children for a number of reasons but having you successfully nurse for the first time on your own, something you’d been trying to master for weeks since leaving the hospital, made me beam with such pride. Daddy and I did a little high five, “yay!” session actually. It was a beautiful, wonderful moment!
I know in the beginning it was a struggle for me but your trust in me is the only thing that made nursing ever work out for us. Now many people will read this and think, “well of course she trusted you, she was a newborn and you her mama.” That’s not it though! You could have refused or fought it or just gave up, but you didn’t. We’d snuggle and pray and you’d trust the process time and time again, even when it didn’t always work. Thank you for that. Thank you so, so much my sweet girl.
Breastfeeding you this past 11 months (and how ever many months we have to go!) have been nothing short of amazing – they have brought us closer, even closer than the regular bonding that comes with it because we had to learn to completely rely on one another. These past 11 months have taught patience, love, and faith. These past 11 months I accomplished something that I never realized I would be so deeply proud of!
Thank you my sweet daughter, I owe it all to you.
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Must Have Mondays

Must Have Mondays – Issue 2

This post contains affiliate links which means I may receive compensation if a purchase is made using these links.

If this is your first time checking out Must Have Monday’s here’s the low down!

Every other Monday I will be featuring an awesome recipe, blogger, and product. Since I am a mommy, wifey, and blogger these will be quick and easy recipes, relateable bloggers, and helpful & trendy products – all “must have’s” in my life!

Here’s this week’s must have’s! Enjoy!


This week’s recipe is Parmesan Herb Crusted Salmon from Add A Pinch.

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Photo courtesy of Add A Pinch

This is one of those meals that would be sure to impress others who saw and/or ate it, but in reality it is one of the easiest things I’ve ever made. We eat a lot of salmon in this house and this is a recipe I go back to time and time again. It is just so, so delicious. And I don’t know about you, but fish just tastes better on a summer night. We paired it with some white wine and roasted asparagus, yum!


This week’s blogger is Sarabeth McElhaney of The February Fox

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Photo courtesy of Sarabeth McElhaney

Sarabeth and I connected months ago and her blog and Instagram page are truly one of those that I love to follow. Her pictures are bright and beautiful. She’s just gorgeous. And her blog is absolutely fabulous. Personally, my favorite section is the travel section. Sarabeth and her family do lots of traveling, but not just typical vacations, I’m talking bucket list type stuff – Stonehenge, Warner Bros. Studios Harry Potter tour (yes, I just compared that to Stonehenge!), Loch Ness, and St. Andrews Golf Course, just a name a few of my favorites! If traveling isn’t your thing Sarabeth also blogs about motherhood, party planning, and life in general.


This week’s product is Crib Rail Covers.

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Photo courtesy of Trend Lab via Amazon.com

Before you roll your eyes at how absolutely boring this week’s product sounds, just read…especially if you’re an expectant mama (registry idea, yay!) or mama to a teething (or soon-to-be teething) little one.

My husband and I literally love this so much that he’s the one that suggested this product for this week’s Must Have Monday’s. There’s a few reasons why this is such a great product!  Our first and foremost reason for purchasing this was because our daughter had begun teething and was chewing on the crib railing. Call me a bad mom, but I didn’t think that it was that bad at first (it’s not like we let her do it for hours on end!) That was until one day I picked her and she had paint chips in her mouth!!!! Yikes! Secondly, and, just as important, when she was teething she was also becoming mobile, and quick! She would often bump her head trying to stand and look over the crib railing. The padding of the crib rail cover served as a cushion. Lastly, with those two things taken care of my husband and I were comfortable leaving her in the crib for a bit in the morning to play. We don’t want her to become used to getting picked up the second she wakes up in the morning. We were doing that, however, before we put the crib rail cover on solely because her crib wasn’t exactly safe anymore.

Our little one always come to the front railing so we only needed a cover for that part which you can buy here. If you also need the side railing crib cover you can buy that here.