Top 10 Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman:

Originally I planned on launching my blog while I was pregnant. That didn’t happen, but I couldn’t bear to get rid of this piece I’d written during that time. Even though, let’s be honest, any pregnant woman could have probably written it! What is it with strangers, or anyone for that matter, and the things that they feel compelled to ask and tell you while you’re rocking that baby bump??

Here is an actual list of things that people said to me while I was expecting. Literally. This list came directly from the notepad on my smart phone:
“Are you having twins?”

Why don’t you just say “you look so large that there’s no way there’s one baby in there,” you know, because it’s not like a woman gaining 20+ pounds isn’t already a bit self conscious.

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“Can I guess your due date?”

I had a stranger in the post office ask me this. Really? NO, you can’t guess my due date, because I reallyyyyy don’t want to hear your response when you think I’m further along than I already am.

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“Make sure you _______ before the baby is here.”

I wish I had a nickel for every time someone said this to me. What’s ironic is that we’ve done pretty much every fill-in-the blank that people told me/us we wouldn’t do SINCE our daughter’s been born. Yes, it’s a little more difficult, but we had a child, we didn’t die.

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“You look like you’re going to pop!”

I refuse to even comment on this one.

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“You’re gaining weight.”

I’m aware of that. I am also reminded every week as I step on the scale at the doctor’s office, but thank you so much for informing me. Also, reminder, but I’m supposed to be gaining weight.

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“You shouldn’t eat that.”

I’m growing a human. I’ll eat YOU if I want to!

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(After an inspection of my belly) “You’re not going into labor anytime soon.”

I didn’t realize you were a medical professional, even though, ironically enough, I don’t think even they can tell me when I’m going into labor just based on a glance at my belly.

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“What are you having?” (immediately followed by) “But that’s not how you’re carrying.”

So why didn’t you just tell me what you apparently know I’m having….

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”You’ll be pregnant all summer.”(While making an equally sympathetic and disgusted look)

Yes, that is correct, my due date is in August which yes is, in fact, in the summer.

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A reminder of when my due date is

One of my friends reminded me regularly, sometimes days in a row, how many days it was until my due date. The thing is, I was very patient about being pregnant, but also anxious because I didn’t know the exact time it would happen. Those reminders were not cute or helpful…they were nerve racking.

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“It’s going to be a long time before you see a two-piece again.”

Ummmm rude and can we say, INAPPROPRIATE??!? Not to mention it was a man that told me that!

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…And just to cover the rest of the bases, no I don’t care about your horrific labor & delivery story, how far overdue you were, what horrible things you’ve heard about the birthing center/hospital we’ve chosen, and/or your opinions about medicated versus natural childbirth.

If you’re pregnant and reading this – shake it off! I like to think that people genuinely mean well even if they have a reallyyyyyyy bad way at showing it.

And if you’re a mama and reading this – got anything to add to the list??