Behind Closed Doors: Staying True to Your Vows

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This week was definitely our hardest yet! The most difficult conversations with our husbands, the most difficult conversations to have between us girls. As Christian women we took our vows very seriously when they were spoken on our wedding days and try with all our might to stay true to them day in and day out. Some days and situations make it very hard to do that, however. Please bare with us as we attempt to explain our hardest topic to date.

{As always, please let us know if there is any way we can pray for you specifically.}


Jessica’s Story

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“His blatant disregard for the relationship with my husband was disgusting to me.  I couldn’t respond.  All I could do was get up and walk away…” Read more.

Sara’s Story

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“I was reminded in those moments just how important it is to constantly communicate our needs and desires with each other.  It ensures that we are working to maintain and grow our marriage together.” Read more.

Chelsea’s Story

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“It’s not something we talk much on because it’s not something we are going to act on, but we both know life would be easier if we weren’t married.”Read more.

Brittany’s Story

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“This was a tough topic for us this week. The word “Divorce” has be said by my husband on more than one occasion. The only times it has come us is when we have been in a heated argument and that was the only word he knew would hit hard with me.” Read more.


Jessica’s Story

Before I had my children I worked at the front desk of a medical office.  I talked with many of the patients that came in for appointments. Some were quiet and to the point while others wouldn’t leave without telling you their entire life story.

One day a very nice and polite older man came in. He said things like “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” when I asked him questions.  Once I had finished gathering all of his information he hung around the front desk talking.  It wasn’t unusual, especially on slower days, for patients to hang around and chat while they waited for their nurse to call them back.  After a few minutes he told me he wanted to set me up with his nephew.  I smiled, said no thank you, and told him I was happily married. He replied “So?”

So? So what?

His blatant disregard for the relationship with my husband was disgusting to me.  I couldn’t respond.  All I could do was get up and walk away, which I did.  It opened my eyes to the scary view that many people have when it comes to matrimony.  Did those promises I made to my husband really hold no weight in that man’s eyes? Apparently not. I wondered what experiences this man had had with marriage to make him so dismissive of mine.

Brett and I work to make our marriage strong.  We have since the day we were married. We have open communication on any topic, we study scripture together, and pray together.  We encourage each other to speak up when we offend one another so we can avoid it in the future.  I shudder to think what would have happened if we didn’t work so diligently.  Would I have walked away? Would I have been flattered by his advance? Would I have stayed in the conversation?

I’ve thought about this experience several times since then. I always thought that when people strayed from their commitments it was because they had gone looking to do so. This situation had shown me otherwise. I am so grateful for my faith based marriage and for the strength and support it gives me.

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Sara’s Story

Vows.  They are the cornerstone of every marriage ceremony and what we aim to hold up and honor in the days and years together.  It takes constant work to love and appreciate a spouse while guarding the heart and mind from temptations.

When I worked full time it ended up that I was employed in offices and teams where I was the only woman.  Because of the roles I had in these offices, more than once I had been referenced as so and so’s work wife.  For me, I believe that the title of husband and wife are special and saved for spouses only.  I would let it be known publicly that I wasn’t okay being called that.  Even though said in jest, having that thought and viewing someone else that way can crack doors open that need to stay closed.

I remember having a convo with the hubs one time about how I needed him to tell me that I looked nice or notice my outfit and accessories more frequently.  I needed those words of affirmation from my husband so that I wasn’t seeking it or enjoying it when co-workers gave me compliments.  In return he told me that he needed me to hold his hand more and snuggle close on the couch a little more often.  I was reminded in those moments just how important it is to constantly communicate our needs and desires with each other.  It ensures that we are working to maintain and grow our marriage together.

Philippians 4:8 says “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  These verses are instructions for what I am to focus my heart and mind on.  They leave no room for focusing on anything other than Jesus and what He has laid out for me.  He has given me a fabulous man as my mate and partner in this life.  Marriage is not easy.  But all of the work ensure that my husband is honored and our marriage that is full of love is so worth it!

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Chelsea’s Story

It’s always a tough topic when talking about staying true to your vows. Why? Well I don’t know about you about my wedding vows aren’t something I consciously think of every day. If it’s something I’m consciously thinking of it’s because everything isn’t going just right and I need to remember to keep myself true to the promises I made to my husband before God. THAT is why it’s a tough topic; it’s not always smiles and sunshine and truthfully that stinks.

When discussing this topic this past week with my husband, John, it was our shortest conversation about this series so far. There really wasn’t much to talk about because we have had the same struggle towards one another. It’s not something we talk much on because it’s not something we are going to act on, but we both know life would be easier if we weren’t married. Wow! Did I just say that? Yup!

About a year into our marriage we realized we are extremely different people. We are very different in trivial things like pastimes and interests, but deeper things like goals and dreams. Dating and being engaged these issues never really arose because we were only skimming the surface. We had fun just hanging out, wining and dining, and spending time with our families and friends. A year into marriage though we needed to really be adults and starting working towards how we’d spend the rest of our life. That is when things got tough.

We didn’t argue a ton (and still don’t) but we have to compromise A LOT. Yes, I realize all married couples do, but we’re talking HUGE things we had COMPLETELY different opinions on, our home, money, children. I would be lying if I said that we’ve figured it all out and are happy as clams. I can say honestly though, that we work hard every day, that we have truly learned the meaning of compromise, and that it is only making us stronger, even when some days it doesn’t feel like it.

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Brittany’s Story

This was a tough topic for us this week. The word “Divorce” has be said by my husband on more than one occasion. The only times it has come us is when we have been in a heated argument and that was the only word he knew would hit hard with me.

The only times we have had to really focus on staying true to our vows would be during arguments. Both of has have short tempers.

I have a tendency to be really lazy at home bc I’ve been working all day and I just don’t want to put the dishes or my laundry up. Jerod is a neat freak and hates having to ask more over and over again to do those things. He gets frustrated with me.

His love language is definitely affection and physical touch…. they are not mine. We have got into arguments about this as well.

There has never been a time I have wanted to ever cheat on him. I am such a homebody and not a big drinker so he never has to worry about me going out and checkin out other dudes! Ha!

He is my everything and I would be absolutely love without him.

We both use affirmation and encouragement a lot because we both thrive on that.

It’s so important to really sit and think after you’ve had an argument ” Is this worth it?” “Am I making the best decision if I were to get in my car and leave right now?”

We work really hard at our marriage  and both love each other deeply and madly!

God is the reason we are still together. He brought us together and He will keep us together!

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3 thoughts on “Behind Closed Doors: Staying True to Your Vows

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