Warning: I am 100% real in this post. If you aren’t a mom, you might want to stop reading now. You’ve been warned.
Motherhood is something that happens abruptly. You’re handed your baby and boom, you’re a mom. Us mothers have to dive right in to the role, doing the best we can. It wasn’t until the other day that I consciously realized how much my life has changed since my daughter arrived back in August. I obviously knew it had changed in big ways, but there are so, so many small changes as well. Changes in relationships, changes in my body, every day changes, changes that make me LAUGH! I swear if there was a camera set up in my home I could make good money on reality TV. It wouldn’t even need sound. The balancing acts, ridiculousness, and hilarity of motherhood is so real. I mentally started this list in the wee hours of the morning after getting my baby back to sleep. The realization of all the changes I’ve been through recently just started to flow and after a few days of jotting them down I had a zillion and five. Therefore I bring you….
Part ONE of Motherhood Realizations:
Sometimes I feel like a cow.
Not in an overweight sort of way, but in a “oh my gosh I just fell asleep standing up” sort of way.
Driving takes much more coordination these days.
Before, it was kind of like riding a bike. You learn to do it and know how to forever. Well now it’s a whole new ball game. I thought my big drivers ed test in high school was a challenge. Yea right! What they need to do is strap a screaming child in the car with a toy that plays obnoxious music over and over and over again and let you know that there’s a 50/50 chance they will choke on something you don’t even know is in the car. Now that would be a true driving test!
The laundry comments were all true.
It really never ever, ever ends! I catch up on laundry. Baby poops or pees on clothes. I’m not going to let it sit there. I’m not going to run an entire wash cycle for one or two articles of clothing. Time to get random clothing items together so I can wash a full load of laundry…again.
My phone memory will never be large enough.
I thought I took a lot of pictures of my dog. Or with my friends. Nope! Nowhere near as many pictures as I take of my daughter. Goodness gracious! Half the time I look back at the pictures I don’t even know what I was trying to document. She isn’t smiling, doing anything cool, or wearing anything cute, but apparently it needed to be documented.
Sleep deprivation is real.
I thought I knew sleep deprivation after a night on the town in college. Nope, not even comparable.
I miss my mediocre B-cup boobies.
And my belly button.
I mean I knew about the boob thing, but no one told me that my belly button. That bad boy has stretch marks and has somehow gotten both shallower and wider. Painting a real nice picture, aren’t I? True life, sorry pals!
I can do pretty much any task with one hand.
When you spend 85% of your day carrying a little one on your hip, you learn to complete tasks with only one of those two helpful hands/arms that God gave you.
Taking a shower in a bathroom where no one else is present has become one of the most relaxing things in my life.
Kinda sad really, but the peace and quiet along with the warm water washing away the day’s dirt and regrets is just fabulous.
Grocery shopping with a child is a feat.
Will all your groceries physically fit under the stroller? Are you going to have to pee while you’re there? Is your child going to behave? Is it going to interfere with nap time? Are you going to try to take the time to coupon? I didn’t truly appreciate the ease of shopping without a child like I should have.
The list continues, but you’d honestly be here all day so next Tuesday I will be posting Part 2! No worries, I’ll remind you. How’s the list looking so far?