Soaking It In

I want to cherish this moment forever. I don’t want to forget a thing.

I just finished nursing you, it’s what we do before you take your morning nap. You are still in your pajamas because instead of getting ready for the day this morning we cooked breakfast for everyone. Your pajamas are pink with white polka dots. I can hear the dogs next door barking, hoping they don’t startle you. Someone is on the phone in the next room and I can hear Onyx’s claws on the hardwood floors downstairs. It is in the 60’s today. The sun is shining and barely sneaking in your closed blinds, making your room so peaceful. Your sound machine is playing the sound of waves crashing, making the room even calmer.

When you finished nursing, you woke up, but I wasn’t ready for the whirlwind of the day to begin. I sat with you in the chair longer, honestly not expecting it to last. Then you did the sweetest thing, you laid your head on my chest. Your right hand rested on my shoulder, ever so slightly clutching my shirt. The warmth of your body on mine made my eyes heavy with relaxation. I thought you must be sleeping, but stealing a glance at your face your eyes were open, you were honestly just cuddling with me.

It’s hard to believe you’ll ever be so big that you won’t fit in my arms anymore. I can’t believe how quickly these last six months have gone. I am so excited to see the girl you are becoming, but so deeply wish some days that you could stay just the way you are. I steal a glance again and you’ve dozed off to sleep. I notice that your hair is filling in and I can see tiny veins on your eyelids. There’s a prominent vein that shows on your nose as well. I wonder if it will stay and hope if it does that you won’t resent it. It’s a beautiful little feature, unique to you. I stare at your eyelashes, almost wanting to count each and every one. Your flawless lips are open just a tiny bit and an occasional grunt comes out of them as you soundly sleep.

I want to stay here forever, but know you’ll soon wake. Our day will officially begin, we can’t put it off much longer. There are things to be done and when you nap I normally lay you in your crib, but right now I just can’t.

Right now I am just soaking it all in.

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