The Things I Found in My Vacuum Today

You should know you’re in for an interesting read just because of the fact that I’m able to write an entire post about vacuuming and the interesting contents I collected after doing so. Gosh that’s a sad sentence. Now before you get to the list though, let me preface it with the fact that I am no housewife. I mean I technically am a housewife, but I totally suck at it. My husband was obviously not trying to find a trophy wife when he settled for me. I can not cook. If I do make something worth eating it was because there was a very detailed recipe, and even then it will take me twice as long as the recipe says. The kitchen will also be a disaster of momentous proportions approximately 8 minutes into the process. Like pasta sauce on the ceiling type mess.

I also do not clean. Not in a snotty way, it’s just that it always falls to the bottom of my to-do list, which let’s be honest, no one ever gets to. I don’t dust because I’m normally holding the baby and gross. I don’t vacuum because I’m normally holding the baby and the vacuum is heavy. I don’t sweep because I’m normally holding the baby and that’s pretty much impossible to do with one hand. So, obviously it’s the baby’s fault, but who’s going to blame her? With her recent her however, I have decided that of all chores, I just can not skip vacuuming anymore. We have two dogs and I shouldn’t be cringing when I lay her on the carpet to play. (I mean I lay her on a blanket but what mobile baby stays nicely in one spot on a perfectly clean blanket)

So today I plopped her in her Moby carrier and got to vacuuming (Shhhhh, I conveniently left out the fact that I have a carrier with all those reasons I couldn’t clean). Oh boy, the discoveries I made after vacuuming! Apparently I don’t vacuum quite frequently enough (at all!) because when I finished and was dumping out the contents I found:

Dog hair

The pieces of 3-5 seashells

Confetti (Yup, still cleaning up confetti!)

Dust and dirt

Dog hair

Red string

$100 (Yea right, I wish!)

Black string

My sanity (Couldn’t believe it; a little of it came back just knowing the carpet was so clean!)

Plastic (Like the super thin, static electricity ridden, never all gets in the trashcan type)

Dog hair

An entire adult sized sock (You can’t make this up!)

And a little more dog hair


I know I can’t be the only less than mediocre housewife out there. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever found when vacuuming/cleaning?

5 thoughts on “The Things I Found in My Vacuum Today

  1. Kari says:

    I was vacuuming today also and well here goes:
    dog hair
    Lego’s (those tiny ones that no one ever sees)
    dog hair
    blue ribbon

    I am also not the best cook!!! Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

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